UP CLOSE AND (A BIT TOO) PERSONAL....INTIMACY

February 7, 2012

The Lichi Report 

Dear Friends,

Greetings in the Name that is above every other Name; The Lord Jesus Christ!

PRAISE FIRST!!

Running a bit late in this report so it will likely be short and sweet this week. The Summo Wrestlers (see last week's report) returned for a brief encore and decided to step into my Cervical Spine area for an additional MRI last Wednesday morning. The findings show that the cancer is indeed in the bones of the Lumbar, Thoracic and also now in the Cervical along with the hips. This of course helps explain some of the pain along with the fact that, as the neurologist says...there's only so much room in the opening of the spine for the nerves, swelling, muscle, fluids, etc. The good news is that the cancer does NOT appear to be in the spinal cord itself for which we are grateful.

My primary oncologist Dr. Lewis is checking my blood levels weekly and is in close consultation with Dr. Lazarus at University Hospital. The Revlimid will need to go at least another round at the 25 mg. dosage. By this I mean that when I'm done with this 21 day cycle, I'll have a week off and then another 21 days at 25mg. When the cancer is shrunk to a manageable level,  I'll go into the hospital for the "major blast" of chemo and then work to replace the bone marrow with my own stem cells. (Fearfully and Wonderfully made! Psalm 139:14) When I first switched from 15mg to 25 mg. last week I had a one day negative reaction but afterwards adjusted and have been feeling actually very strong. One of the effects of the Revlimid is a suppressed immune system...so don't mind if I'm not my normal hugs and kisses kind of guy when we meet! Don't take it personally if I just give you a "knuckle bump."

In all honesty were it not for the throbbing pain in the hips, legs, swelling and numbness in the legs and waist, you really wouldn't know that I have the cancer (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!).

Here is the weekly update from our end. 

·       Continue Praise for the provision of the full cost of this first round of Revlimid! Amen!

·       Praise in advance how God will provide for the second round of Revlimid in the next 3 weeks.

·       MRI's last Wednesday on Cervical.

·       Had scan and determined that the pain was not being caused by blood clots (praise!)

·       Meet Wednesday 2/8/12 with Dr. Samar Narouse Pain Specialist

·       Thanks again to all of you who gave up your valuable time to haul me to and from appointments and work.

·       Was able to get in a full week at EMERGE.

·       Pray for the team at EMERGE as we gear up for our first official Marriage Tune Up in Allentown, PA. I won't be able attend of course but will be working with the team as a consultant. The goal is work with the "high risk" population of those who have answered the call to full-time pastoral ministry (and their spouses) to do some initial testing and consultation in order to "build fences at the top of the hill and not just call for the ambulance at the bottom of the hill" in ministry. We have a talented and dedicated team of therapists who will be spending the day ministering to 12 couples in Allentown.

·       I was able to have a 1 1/2 hour interview last Tuesday with the Akron Beacon Journal (along with a photographer) related to my journey. Ms. Collette Jenkins was so gracious to allow me to share candidly how one's life can change so quickly. One moment seemingly healthy; training for a 12th marathon; great energy; purposeful and fulfilling ministry...and then,  "We think you have a serious cancer called multiple myeloma; that starts in plasma cells and is also called plasma cell myeloma.....and your life is about to dramatically change."

·        I shared that when your external world is turned upside down, it is valuable to have an inner compass that stays upside up through the storm. My compass is Jesus Christ. I was also able to give hearty thanks for those who have come alongside Marcie and me in this incredible journey. It gave me an opportunity to thank the Christian community, my family, friends, the medical community, my church, and pastors. It was emotional at times.

·       At the end of the interview, the photographer mentioned that he had lost his father to cancer six months ago. He allowed me to pray comfort for him and his family. I was able to pray with Collette as well, both of us knowing that the true editor of her writing is the Lord God Himself.

·       If the article is printed, my hope is that Jesus will be lifted up and someone will be encouraged. May He be glorified!

COMING UP

·       Completing my fourth round of chemotherapy this week (week off next week and then round 5)

·       February 21st orientation to inpatient treatment at University Hospital. This orientation alone takes about 4 to 5 hours. It will let us know what to expect when I finally do go into isolation to prepare for the bone marrow transplant.

HOW MUCH INTIMACY CAN YOU STAND? (Into me....See)

I WANT TO BE CLOSE TO YOU! REALLY? (Intimacy (from Latin "intimus" and means "without barriers"). Undone, open, honest, transparent, the ability to see and be seen. Do I really want that? Typically not. In the sacredness of a therapeutic relationship that is founded on trust, people will, with work begin to open their lives. For many this is a risky first time experience. When one takes the chance to open their life to you please know they are taking an enormous risk. To invite another to look in; look deeply, revealing their hopes, doubts, fears, joy, sorrow....in other words....getting beyond the shell of defenses (sarcasm, humor, denial, blame, "fine", "I'm doing great").

To whom are you available? To whom do you allow yourself to be intimate?

Who sees you? Really sees you? A few see me. One rule of close friends for me is this....you cannot be impressed. By this of course I (as any dog really) like to be stroked and affirmed of course, but you cannot be close and intimate and stay impressed for very long. Who do you let in to your  "inner circle?" Marcie. Painful at times because of all people she probably knows me best after nearly 41 years of marriage.  Intimacy means painful conversation at times...tense...my ego is wounded...I don't get my way. My ideas are not the "best" ideas. I blow it. My "inner circle" of friends know this quite well and, amazingly love me anyhow. And they remain not overly impressed.

As Moses was developing his relationship with God he asked to see God in un-adorned intimacy. Wisely God knew better and said clearly, "You couldn't stand it and live!"  God obviously knew better. Moses concluded correctly that unless God's presence (intimacy) was with the people of Israel as they traversed the desert places...they were done for. And, logically he wanted a closer, more intimate view of God. So he went for broke. "I want to see your glory!" (Exodus 33:18) God agreed to show Moses His goodness but limited Moses to seeing His goodness and hear His name...but Moses was not permitted a full view of God's face...otherwise he'd be a dead man. At some point we will see Him face to face...just not now!  But we can have more of Him now. He will be found by us when we seek Him with our whole heart. (Jeremiah 29:13) I want to reflect more on the issue of intimacy in the near future. Suffice it to say....it's not easy! Be careful what you ask for.....God may just decide, in the most unexpected ways, to show you more of Himself.  Be ready.

Final Comment

Intimacy is risky. When a relationship is going well...there is nothing like it. When a relationship is not going well.... there is nothing like it. In the midst of close (intimate) relationships come life's greatest pleasures and pains. For many, the dodging of pain leaves us full of defenses, and avoidances, and many other ways to keep others at a distance. Take a chance this week to open your heart to intimacy. First with Jesus. Talk to Him openly and honestly about what the two of you are doing together. That's called prayer. Ask Him to bring someone to mind who might benefit from a closer, more authentic relationship with you....and bring the presence of Jesus Christ in you to their life. Amen

Much love to you dear friends and family!

Don and Marcie